Change me

If Christ is in the center of my life then everything else should fall into place. ALL my actions and thoughts would be a reflection of Him. I feel like I am so far away from that right now. I feel like I seek the world SO much more than seek Him. I have been reading my Bible regularly, "seeking" Him, but I am coming to see that my life isn't reflecting my love and devotion to Christ. Where am I at? Am I in such a place that sin and the lusts of this world are still my first priority? Do I love the world so much that I am, somewhere in my being, unwilling to put it to death. My only wish in life is that my life would reflect God's love. That people would look at me and my life and see Christ so evident that they would not even see me. That my love for all people would be more than myself. How do I get to that point? Is it reading my Bible or praying so many times a day? If I was really there wouldn't it just pour out of me like an unstoppable river? Why am I not there? My heart so desperately wants to be a woman who is only about God. Why do I have so many reservations that I fear man above God? How do I get there? God change me! Change my heart Oh God! Let me look more like you and less of me. Take this flesh from me and give me your spirit God. I cry to you that won't leave me like this that you will keep changing me into your bond servant.

~Becky~

unbelief

Unbelief is like an elephant in the room. Everyone knows that they struggle with it, but they don't want to admit it is there. I am one to confess here and now that I STRUGGLE with unbelief. I have been a Christian for many years and I still question the supremacy of God. I have seen MIGHTY works of God and yet I still don't believe Him. I have heard God speak in my life and yet I find myself not listening because I think it's not really Him. Often times when we look at Thomas in the Bible (often referred to as "doubting Thomas" we scream at him, Jesus is RIGHT there speaking to you, and yet you have the audacity to ask Jesus to put your hand in His side and THEN you will believe. When I read that I even question Thomas's faith. However, if I examine my own life I am just like Thomas. I often ask for God to show me that that is what He wants me to do, even though I know it is. I ask over and over to put my hands where the nails were.
My worry is where my unbelief really comes out. How many times do I worry over things that I have no control over? If I truly believe God controlled all and did all things accourding to His purpous then I should NEVER worry. I should always trust that everything is in God's hands and that no amount of me pondering, mulling, and worring could ever help the situation becuase the situation is already delt with, God already had the outcome worked out for my good. No matter if it looked good or not from the outside. If I love God everything including the death of a child or husband, cars being broken, or food being scarse would not be something to worry or fret over because the outcome would be LOVE from God. We may not understant how the death of a child could be love, but that isn't for us to determine...God says it is love because he only gives us love to those who love Him. If only we could keep a hevenly focus instead of an Earthly. I think our ideas of love, suffering, trust, stress would look much more different than what it so often looks like while we are in the midst of it. We all need that focus to keep us on the straight and narrow. I crave for that focus but always end up short in the midst of trials. This is definatly a work in progress. I can't wait for his Work to be done and when I am made perfect in His glory.

~Becky~

Sing Hosanna

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity
Hosanna by Hillsong


~Becky~

David

It is amazing to me that even though King Saul pursued David and tried to kill him many times that when King Saul died David mourned his death. How many of us could say that we would mourn the death of our enemy? It is definitely not a human trait but only something that could be of God.

~Becky~