Unbelief is like an elephant in the room. Everyone knows that they struggle with it, but they don't want to admit it is there. I am one to confess here and now that I STRUGGLE with unbelief. I have been a Christian for many years and I still question the supremacy of God. I have seen MIGHTY works of God and yet I still don't believe Him. I have heard God speak in my life and yet I find myself not listening because I think it's not really Him. Often times when we look at Thomas in the Bible (often referred to as "doubting Thomas" we scream at him, Jesus is RIGHT there speaking to you, and yet you have the audacity to ask Jesus to put your hand in His side and THEN you will believe. When I read that I even question Thomas's faith. However, if I examine my own life I am just like Thomas. I often ask for God to show me that that is what He wants me to do, even though I know it is. I ask over and over to put my hands where the nails were.
My worry is where my unbelief really comes out. How many times do I worry over things that I have no control over? If I truly believe God controlled all and did all things accourding to His purpous then I should NEVER worry. I should always trust that everything is in God's hands and that no amount of me pondering, mulling, and worring could ever help the situation becuase the situation is already delt with, God already had the outcome worked out for my good. No matter if it looked good or not from the outside. If I love God everything including the death of a child or husband, cars being broken, or food being scarse would not be something to worry or fret over because the outcome would be LOVE from God. We may not understant how the death of a child could be love, but that isn't for us to determine...God says it is love because he only gives us love to those who love Him. If only we could keep a hevenly focus instead of an Earthly. I think our ideas of love, suffering, trust, stress would look much more different than what it so often looks like while we are in the midst of it. We all need that focus to keep us on the straight and narrow. I crave for that focus but always end up short in the midst of trials. This is definatly a work in progress. I can't wait for his Work to be done and when I am made perfect in His glory.
~Becky~
