unbelief

Unbelief is like an elephant in the room. Everyone knows that they struggle with it, but they don't want to admit it is there. I am one to confess here and now that I STRUGGLE with unbelief. I have been a Christian for many years and I still question the supremacy of God. I have seen MIGHTY works of God and yet I still don't believe Him. I have heard God speak in my life and yet I find myself not listening because I think it's not really Him. Often times when we look at Thomas in the Bible (often referred to as "doubting Thomas" we scream at him, Jesus is RIGHT there speaking to you, and yet you have the audacity to ask Jesus to put your hand in His side and THEN you will believe. When I read that I even question Thomas's faith. However, if I examine my own life I am just like Thomas. I often ask for God to show me that that is what He wants me to do, even though I know it is. I ask over and over to put my hands where the nails were.
My worry is where my unbelief really comes out. How many times do I worry over things that I have no control over? If I truly believe God controlled all and did all things accourding to His purpous then I should NEVER worry. I should always trust that everything is in God's hands and that no amount of me pondering, mulling, and worring could ever help the situation becuase the situation is already delt with, God already had the outcome worked out for my good. No matter if it looked good or not from the outside. If I love God everything including the death of a child or husband, cars being broken, or food being scarse would not be something to worry or fret over because the outcome would be LOVE from God. We may not understant how the death of a child could be love, but that isn't for us to determine...God says it is love because he only gives us love to those who love Him. If only we could keep a hevenly focus instead of an Earthly. I think our ideas of love, suffering, trust, stress would look much more different than what it so often looks like while we are in the midst of it. We all need that focus to keep us on the straight and narrow. I crave for that focus but always end up short in the midst of trials. This is definatly a work in progress. I can't wait for his Work to be done and when I am made perfect in His glory.

~Becky~

Sing Hosanna

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity
Hosanna by Hillsong


~Becky~

David

It is amazing to me that even though King Saul pursued David and tried to kill him many times that when King Saul died David mourned his death. How many of us could say that we would mourn the death of our enemy? It is definitely not a human trait but only something that could be of God.

~Becky~

The Glory of God

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 8-12

I sit here at 9am waiting for the kids to wake up and I am just so blessed with this time to think about Christ. What was Mary thinking when she held that miracle of a baby in her arms, not knowing what would be the outcome of His death on a cross. How for thousands of years His name would still be called upon and praised. How He would be the soul source of comfort and peace to men. I often think of Mary and how much God must have valued her as a wife and mother to in trust her to HIS SON! She must have been about so much more than PTA meetings and soccer games.
So much gets lost during this hectic time. But CHRIST is why we even have a Christmas. Our family at this time has decided no to do Santa but to keep our focus on Christ. His Birth and Death. He really is the reason for the season and so often with the shopping and giving and cooking He is lost and the world exalted. I pray that my family could be a light in this time that we would remind people of why we give gifts and why during a time that could make people sad and depressed that we have HOPE! That Christ came as a little child by a holy birth, served the people and TRULY loved them, and then gave His life in a horrific death so all people might come to call him "papa daddy" "Abba father" to know Him personally and cry out to Him. My Christmas wish is that anyone reading this might know that. That my family and friends would know that. That the world would know that. Our God is more than a god at a computer zapping people but an ALMIGHT ALL POWERFUL AND ALL LOVING Father who is a father that would do anything for His children....even send His own son to the cross so that His other adopted children would be able to know Him and Love Him and choose to be with Him forever.

Merry CHRISTmas everyone!


~Becky~

So today has been a crazy day. I have been in prayer most of the day praying for Kana a friend who lost her boy at 21 weeks. I have also been trying to get caught up on housework. Sarah has been in a "hold me mama" mood and Josh broke a pot FULL of carrot, zucchini curry soup which was a MESS to clean up. However behind my stove is now vacuumed out and cleaned. I am planing on making baked chicken thighs marinated with BBQ sauce, salad and biscuits. Neal gets home around 5 so I still have a few more hours before I need to hope to that.

This week is thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for. God has always provided for me and my family. He gave me such a wonderful family and a husband who loves God. I really have nothing to complain about. My life at this moment is pretty perfect. I think the thing that I am most thankful for is for being a child of God. God turned my life around and used my sin to bring me to a place of repentance. I don't know how I could even go on in life if I didn't know Christ...If I didn't know that He loved me more than anyone and was always looking out for me. I don't even care if things in my life "go wrong" because I know that everything is for His glory and that no matter what it is God will see me through it.

This time of year is my favorite. I LOVE Christmas and can't wait to decorate the house and put the tree up. My favorite thing about Christmas are the live nativity scene and Christmas lights. I hope to have the house decorated the weekend after thanksgiving and our tree the first weekend in December. I love the carols and have already started listening to Christmas music. Well I should probably start on my last load of dishes.

 

my beautiful daughter. She is such a joy to my life and our family. Being a mommy to 2 kids is such a wonderful thing. They brighten my day so much. I love coming home to my son's kisses and my daughter holding out her hands for me to hold her. They are beautiful peices of my soul.

Life has been a bit crazy lately. I think it has a lot to do with me working and not being able to relax on my down time. I can't believe Sarah is 5 1//2 months, sitting up and starting to look like she wants to crawl. Josh had night terrors 2 nights this week. They are always heart breaking and last for an hour. Thankfully his 2nd one only lasted about 30 min. He has had a few night terrors in the past and they usually come in pairs or 3's, so it looks like we are (hopefully) done for a while. I can't wait till the weekend after thanksgiving, because I get to put up our Christmas stuff!! This is our first Christmas in our house! So I am really excited to decorate the mantel and figure out where we will put the tree. Also all the baking! Speaking of baking I have been cooking a lot lately because, well we have no extra money. I have been using my cookbooks and allrecipes.com I picked up an Amish cookbook at goodwill and the recipes are SO good...not too healthy but VERY good. I recently found out about Pioneer woman and have been going to her web site and want to get her new cookbook. I have really been enjoying cooking lately...hating the dishes though. I have been making pizza, dough and everything, at least once a week which has been a lot of fun. Neal and josh have been loving it too. I guess thats all for now